The Case for Firm, Fair Feedback
Experts tell us that fear holds most of us back from providing fair and helpful — but sometimes critical feedback. My coaching confirms this trend. When I ask coachees what’s feeling hard about providing feedback, panic succumbs to tears. Many fear the recipient might reject the information thereby leaving the bearer of the message worrying about their job and or reputation.
Ought we challenge this status quo? I hope so, because Fortune 500 leaders I’ve interviewed as a business reporter always claim feedback from caring peers and mentors as vital for their growth. As for how to provide feedback in ways others truly listen, we can learn much from judges of popular TV shows (like the Great British Bake Off), professors, and coaches — who get plenty of practice. That’s our theme for this week’s article: Providing fair, but firm feedback on work and projects in interesting and unconventional ways which drive trust and growth.
Start with a Compliment
The love sandwich technique lost its value because too many recipients find the positives eclipse the constructive criticism. I suggest small, simple, but personal compliments instead. In the Great British Bake Off, Judge and celebrity British chef, Paul Hollywood, illustrates things well. He’ll say: “I love the flavor.” Or: “That’s delicious.” Or: “You’ve got uniformity, which I like to see.” As you compliment the work, try to:
- Match the warm words with eye contact, kind body language, and tone
- Know that just a phrase will do
- Use memorable, real language vs. promotional flowery phrases. For instance: “That’s the crumbliest, buttery-iest biscuit I’ve ever had.”
Cut Straight to the Critique
From the compliment, you can move to the critique. Again, Paul Hollywood, who got his starts as a boy in his father’s bakery, offers us solid examples:
- “I love the flavors; but it is certainly overbaked”
- “It’s lovely; I just question whether that’s the best technique for this challenge?”
Get Specific — And Offer Short Guidance
You might then add supporting specifics. Academics get lots of practice, as I did when teaching writing, journalism, and then as a business communications professor to MBA students. No specifics might mean my students tune me out, resist the learning, and find no value from the course.
No one right way exists; but I’ve found the effective paragraph structure that serves us well in writing helps: Topic sentence, supporting key ideas, so what sentence at the end. To illustrate:
Your reader must work too hard to read this potentially powerful paragraph— and a few clues exist:
- Sentences exceed 20-words.
- The density of the paragraph (25 lines long) visually overwhelms your reader, who’ll likely give up.
- Passive voice and camouflaged verbs make the tone stodgy and standoffish vs. the light and caring desired tone you’re going for.
Liberate your writing and help your reader skim with bulleted lists, shorter sentences, real vs. fake verbs, and active vs. passive voice.
See and Recognize the Intent — and Work
My next tip ties to kindness — and tone. Our audience must feel trust and believe we want them to grow. You might:
- Think of how you best receive feedback.
- Note what you see working well. E.G. I see you’re wanting to achieve A, B, and C — and, you’ve nailed it — almost.
- Liberate, uplift, then encourage even more. An example might become: “You’ve buried a clear and well-written bottom line here. Bring that big, boy up. Show it the light!”
- Position any feedback with a shared intent. For example, In the spirit of excellence, or, serving our customer — might amplifying X, Y, and Z yield even bigger results?
Provide Space for Discovery and Peer Feedback
My last tip: Play with the idea that your audience knows the answers within. Meaning: Say less. Empower and listen more. If this coach approach becomes something worth trying, then:
- Ask how the direct report feels they’ve done with X. What worked well? What did not? What become some growth areas you want to commit to — what become the clues this must become a focus? And why?
- Align with the purpose of the work — and ask for specific ways they stayed aligned with that goal — and ways they did not.
- Delegate a peer to host the peer review.
- Look for themes and patterns to build accountability and clarity.
Critical feedback can challenge teams and leaders. Hopefully this week’s thought-leadership piece shows that we can make feedback joyous and exploratory vs. scary, a land-mine, and intense. Providing feedback in fair, considerate, and clear ways can build excellence, even bring us closer.
Debbi Gardiner McCullough coaches and trains immigrant leaders to become more confident, concise, and mentally fit communicators. From Wisconsin, she owns and runs Hanging Rock Coaching and serves as a communication effectiveness fellow coach to leaders all over the globe with BetterUp.