Sorry. Not Sorry. Why Leaders Struggle Sharing Bad News.
When it comes to crafting bad or negative news messages, we see the sorry truth: The bar remains low, and most leaders (even aspiring, well-intentioned ones) communicate poorly in these moments. I often hear it’s a tricky, “correct” culture discouraging direct talk, a tough business protocol dictating a cool, clinical approach, or no awareness of how we come across that gets in our way.
The gift I see: We can only go up — and plenty of moments exist for you to shine. In this week’s message, building on my earlier article on strategies and frameworks for delivering bad news well, I’m unpacking more tips, techniques, and examples from the field — and how we might learn from them.
Think Of How You’d Like To Receive this Message
When a CEO of a digital mortgage firm fired 900 of his team over a Zoom call last month, business media shamed the leader for letting go of people in such an uncaring way. But what’s to learn from this misstep? This leader might not have thought how he’d prefer to hear this message. Nor did he show appreciation nor respect for those who’d served the company, as he mentioned later in an apologetic blog post. Whatever the case may become, as you strategize on how to share bad news, stay considerate and muse on how you’d like to receive this very same message. Whatever comes next ought to guide the format, order, and forum for your message.
Take Care With Your Language and Tone
Using this same earlier example of the firing of hundreds via a video call, we must also caution with language and word choice. In this same Zoom call, the CEO accused employees for “stealing from the company” for only working two hours within a day. In other examples, we see other troubling patterns, including:
- Fake verbs vs. real ones. Several years back, Sears famously referred to massive layoffs and store closures as part of its “transformation” when the lives of those who lost their jobs that Christmas did not feel transformed.
- Passive vs. active voice. CEOs and marketers lean heavily on passive voice construction in layoff and other bad news messages like grounded flights for airlines. The goal becomes distancing themselves from the action; however, in doing so, audiences feel miffed and will retaliate by leaking the news — or tune you out.
- Weak verbs vs. active ones. I am sorry vs. I feel sorry requires only two more letters; however, feeling sorry sounds more sincere than the latter because of the active tone. Weak verbs, in volume, can sound wishy-washy and, well, weak. Most cases, you’ll want to sound strident; so, choose active verbs.
- Jargon and an overly formal tone. In all informative messages, especially negative news messages, greet your audience and steer clear of dismissive, withering salutations like: “All.”
Keep The Bottom Line Up Top
When we put our feelings above our audience’s when sharing bad news, we bury things towards the end vs. bring the bottom line up top (a best practice for any informative message). Investor Warren Buffet cautions against the popular practice of burying negative performance reports within the middle of a presentation, hoping nobody will notice. He worries you’ll find yourself digging an even bigger hole.
We’ve lovely examples here from Airbnb CEO Brian Chesky who announced (by paragraph three) the news of reducing the size of the workforce. This step earns Mr. Chesky an ‘A’ in my books. Saving the details on how many layoffs exist and the timeline for their departure until paragraph 7 loses him points. He explains the reasons and rationale for the layoffs over multiple paragraphs before getting to these vital details. And yet, when it comes to job losses, most of us want to know the who, what, when, why, and how — and most likely in that order.
Stay Audience Centered, Pithy, and Candid
A truly lovely example of layoff messages comes from Arne Sorenson, Marriott International CEO, who earned international praise for authentic leadership when appearing in video, after cancer treatments, to share news of inevitable layoffs during COVID-19. Commentators responded to the humility, vulnerability, and the openness — but also the candid language — which speaks to his cancer-induced baldness, and then: “Now, let’s talk about that crisis.”
To stay audience centered and direct, you might also want to:
- Adopt the language you must use; but, push back on anything that no longer sounds like you or starts sounding robotic. Reject boilerplate lingo. Integrate the parts legal and or marketing ask of you, but insist on a conversational tone to retain good will from your audience.
- Remain straight forward, even when things get tough. It takes courage to say things directly vs. indirectly; however, do note: The world craves clear and compelling communicators. Tell us how things truly sit and you will stand out in memorable, positive ways.
- Keep things short and leave things open for discussion and Q&A — which if you do things well — ought to become lively, honest, and robust. The acronym KISS (Keep it short and simple) offers a helpful acronym. Also, imagine an elevator ride. What might you share with your audience within the 1-minute journey when it comes to this bad news? Which parts feel pertinent? Which parts can wait?
Determine the Want and Need For An Apology. Sound Real.
Experts recognize the risk in formally apologizing. Apologies signal to our audience that we’ve done wrong. And CEOs speak on behalf of their organization and board; so of course, apologizing publicly has broader ramifications — even legal ones. But regardless of your level, know that an apology goes a long way to building good will. And an absence of an apology can signal recklessness and a lack of care.
Work with your team to help determine whether you ought to say “sorry” or show remorse differently. And in the absence of a direct apology, share with your audience (briefly) your genuine emotion. Sorenson’s words ring true to this rule. He said: “I can tell you that I have never had a more difficult moment than this one. There is simply nothing worse than telling highly valued associates — people who are the very heart of this company — that their roles are being impacted by events completely outside of their control.”
I find the passage slightly wordy, and I could trim some passive voice and weak verbs out for a stronger tone; however, authentic sounding and conversational language prevails and earn him an A+ in my humble view.
Now you’ve some examples to reflect upon for your next negative news message. I hope you feel empowered, slightly more prepared, and courageous to try something new the next time you’re delivering bad news up or down the chain. Be you. Be real. Be kind. You’ll do great.
Debbi coaches and trains immigrant leaders to become more confident and authentic communicators, and with that, more concise, too. From Wisconsin, she owns and runs Hanging Rock Coaching and serves as a communication effectiveness fellow coach to leaders all over the globe with BetterUp.