How do we stay calm amongst spooky communicators — especially with awkward, tricky questions?

Embrace vs. Dread The Q&A

D G McCullough

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We’ve organized our decks, know what to say — and why we want to say it. But the concluding Q&A session can unnerve the best of us. How do we prepare (and can we prepare) for the ad-hoc questions, especially when our job/proposal/work pipeline feels at stake? We can prepare and towards this effort, I challenge on Medium this week the more popular myths I hear from worried communicators who come to me for this very help. My podcast on Q&As brings in more techniques and tactics. Let’s go.

Myth One: We Can’t Prepare For Ad-Hoc Questions

Not true. We can prepare and it starts by preempting with a thought partner what your audience might want to know. To help get yourself there:

  • Know your audience and stay audience centered vs. self serving. Think about why they want and need this info — and what’s in it for them to even listen. Think about their lives, wants, and livelihoods vs. yours.
  • Embody a demanding news editor. When reporters file their stories to their bureau chief or editor, the chief’s job becomes preempting skeptical or critical audiences. With blameless discernment, cruelly edit your work to help expose the gaps in what you share and prepare for any questions.
  • Ask for insight from an insider, once your prep’s close. Share your strategy and ask strategic questions like how much does my audience already know or not know? Why might they pushback, if at all? And what have I missed?
  • Practice. One client learned from her professor who aced his ability to defend his research by listening to earnings calls with CEOs on Bloomberg, pausing when reporters and investors asked the questions, and fielding it himself. He then compared his response to the CEO’s as a way to learn and boost his confidence. We can do the same with Shark Tank, Dragon’s Den, Project Runway — any show where discerning judges pick apart our concept.

Myth Two: We Can’t Foresee The Nature of The Questions

Untrue. When we think of questions our audience might ask of us, questions always fall within three major buckets. We hear questions that:

  • Seek more depth/context/clarity on something we’ve already shared
  • Seek information/or a perspective we’ve not addressed
  • Aim to heckle, challenge, or bother us

The last of the three becomes rare — and I’ve a new thought leadership piece brewing for those moments. But the goal here becomes seeing you have a finite number of scenarios to prepare for: Offer more depth and perspectives, something new, or manage a hostile response. Easy.

Myth Three: We Torpedo Our Careers By Not Having the Answer

When leaders I coach even contemplate not having the answer to a high stakeholder’s question, they feel fear, self doubt, panic— even self loathing. The popular questions I hear include: How can I not know AND look professional/worthy of my job/promotable?

Here’s the rub. You can look strong, capable, and promotable without having the answer. In fact, when leaders claim they don’t know, the honesty often endears them to their team. Audiences feel relieved with the sharing of not knowing because that uncertainty feels shared — especially during turbulent times like mergers, job losses, and plunging stock. Bottom line: Admitting we don’t know humanizes us to our audience.

Also, we can answer things confidently by:

  • Mirroring back the question, using the question bearer’s exact language and…
  • Speaking to what we do know or suspect might be true or promise to find out together
  • Remembering: We know a lot, otherwise we wouldn’t have the podium
  • Admitting we don’t have the answer; but we know exactly who to go to for the insight the audience member seeks

I’ve chosen not-having-the-answers to a question as my thought leadership piece this week because I see growing confidence in leaders who navigate those moments in authentic and grounded ways using plain, honest, and heartfelt language.

I suspect this encouraging shift ties to the social changes I see in how we communicate at work. At least here in the U.S., audiences tune out those who claim to know-it-all, strive for perfection, and/or conceal ignorance. So give yourself grace and know: Presence and effective communications can come from bumpy and smooth moments. And while your inner Judge can convince you no control exists, you have plenty. Just plan, stay audience centered, and mentally fit.

Debbi Gardiner McCullough coaches and trains immigrant leaders to become more confident, concise, and mentally fit communicators. From Wisconsin, she owns and runs Hanging Rock Coaching and serves as a communication effectiveness fellow coach to leaders all over the globe with BetterUp.

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D G McCullough

New Zealander D G McCullough has written on social trends for the Guardian, the Economist, and the FT. She’s a narrative and communications coach.